Living among the Natives

We have some very interesting folks in our apartment complex. Because of how the windows are set, I don't see much of them but this I know. Next door we have the disabled guy in the power chair. If you look at him accidentally he'll tell you to "go fuck yourself", plus he enjoys karaoke night at the local bar. When he gets out of hand and his mother calls the cops on him he tries to attack them from his chair.

Then we have the woman who dresses like a muslim in a long skirt and a scarf, but is probably not one, so I call her a "fake Muslim". I'm not PC. The neighbor upstairs never leaves without a fancy hat on, and does her exercise at 10pm. Skinny people who exercise daily need to be shoveled in the head.

Next to hat lady we have "Pat". We call her that because we are not sure of the gender.  She walks every where with an old lady wire basket on wheels, and calls the cops on any and every peep we make. She enjoys calling in "noise complaints".  No one cares but her.

Let us not forget the manager, she has a pear shaped body and wears extra large tops. It appears as if she is floating about on top of skinny little legs, instead of merely walking. The maintenance man loves us, ever since my roommate gave him a case of beer for fixing our broken toilet. I argued, "it's his damn job", but the roommate did not listen. Now we are stuck with this guy insisting on getting right on top of issues here.

Recently I was sitting on my couch and glanced out the patio door. I witnessed two boys about 10 years old. One was pee'ing on the bush by our fence, the other was behind the bush dropping a deuce. We don't live in Mexico mind you.

 Lee, from down the way purchased The Walters used remote controlled Hummer at our last yard sale. He was deprived of oxygen at birth, so is a bit slow in the head. He named the Hummer Sara, and paid only 10 dollars for her. He can be seen on a good day running her ragged in the parking lot.

Living in an apartment complex has its perks.